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Long Distance. How does it work?
Hi everyone. So I'm in a long distance relationship with a guy in Alberta. And He's the best thing I've got going in my life right now. I love him to death and plan on being with him forever. However lately we've been having some jealously/trust issues. He gets really upset becasue he keeps thinking that i'm goign to meet someone here that is gonig to "sweet talk" me or someone that I'm going to "have more fun with". Now I know for a fact I'm not going to meet anyone here that I want to be romantically involved with, yet he doesn't seem to understand that. I have a past of some not so great choices when it comes to guys, I've done some things and played around a bit which I totally regret and wish I had never done. I'm not liek that anymore. But he's still really worried. He says its because he loves me so much and I believe him I'm just running out of steam with us arguing and having big long periods of not talking. And the way we try and solve these thigns are through texting. Because It's long distance... And its just getting really frustrating and confusing. He's just really really worried that he's going to loose me. But I know for a fact he won't. I just want to be able to get this point across to him. Anyone have any ideas how I can prove to him that I'm his and always will be?
Comments
Just wondering, how long have you two been together? And has it always been a long-distance relationship?
Personally, i think it would be hard to do the whole long-distance thing, but sometimes you just cant help who you love. Try to talk to him about the problems that you two have and see if you can work through the jealousy thing (its gonna be really hard tho for him not to be jealous when you two are so far away).
Is there any way he could move back to you? Or you to Alberta? Think about the long-term and what will happen then....it cant always be long distance, right?
As for a way to tell him that you will always love him and no one else, im not sure what to tell you. He obviously thinks that cuz of your past you're gonna go and do something behind his back. You just have to reassure him that you wont and that your past is your past. Its really hard tho, but you just have to talk to him about it somehow. Good luck! :)
But yah, the showing up at his house thing is kinda cute and definitely shows you care about him A LOT to do that. But in a way, she shouldnt have to do something like that for him to know that she cares about him, right??
Its kinda hard, but since he said hes moving back next summer, maybe just try to get through it. Just reassure him that you love him and that theres no one else. Thats the only thing I can think of. I agree, your past is your past....he SHOULD get over it....but it can be hard, so just be a bit patient i guess.
But judging from your age, (I believe you said 18 in the intro thread), you guys are going to be going through a lot of life-changing events, and it's a time in your life where you need to be thinking about where your life is leading; not centering your life around altering your geographical location to be with somebody.
I've been in that situation before, and all of that "yeah, I'm gonna move to where you are within a year, no matter what!" sounds good over the phone and by email or whatever, but you need to sit back and be realistic. I said stuff like that before too, because the "love" was just too overwhelming...but then I thought...who will I live with? Can I support myself? What will happen to my education? What will my parents think? And the dreaded: "what if things don't work out?"
It's definitely hard to think outside of that flowery bubble of a fantasy land you live in when you're in so-called "love" with somebody, but just think: realistically speaking, is it possible? Personally, I'd think it's much more plausible for people in their late 20's or early 30's, who are already established, or have completed their higher education. Moving around is an option, and you have the skills to get a decent paying job. But for somebody as young as you....not so much. Just a thought.
from all the long distance couples ive seen...anyone under the age of 25 is just too immature to handle the whole thing...of course there are the success stories, but kinda rare...
i think its especially hard in the early "honeymoon" phases, since you still may be developing that trust...
One of my best friends was in a relationships for 4 years, they were gonna get married and such, they were apart for a few MONTHS, and boom it hit the shitter.
And love doesn't prevail above all, believe that.
If you're willing to do those things, don't listen to all the people here say "oh long distance relationships are RARE and never work out". I'm not sure how you guys are communicating normally (other than texting over arguments..). Do you guys talk regularly over the phone? Internet? I think this part's key to a long distance relationship.
I was in Halifax, NS and we talked on the phone everynight for at least half an hour. In case u dont know, halifax has a 4-hour time difference...we'd talk after she got off work/school....most times weekdays, i'd get a call in the middle of the night around 2-3AM and we'd chat. I did this for 8 months.
I think it's important that you have this consistent communication, especially if you guys are so new to each other. I also think it's important that you know where you're going (in terms of the relationship). Is he really going to move here? Or you move there? I know that I'd be back in a set amount of time.
For me, I dont think i'd have our relationship start any other way. We learned how to communicate with one another. When we have some little problem she reminds me or i'll remind her, "Remember those 8 months? It was so incredibly hard, but we went came out of it. This problem now is nothing." It really gives us perspective of what we've overcome and how small other problems are.
So short answer is...dont be discouraged and just work at it as long as both of you think worth it. Ignore people here who want to shoot down your relationship. Besides, everyone's relationship is rocky in the beginning. You, like me, happened to have a tougher situation.
but you just joined in february 2008....double account?
It was Aftermath's first post too. Nice..hehe..on an old thread too lol
come on ppl.. dish it out!!